An Afternoon in the Life....

A couple years ago, Sister Julie B. Beck came and spoke to our stake in a special meeting for the sisters.  Some of the words that she said resonated with me and I am going to quote her here:

      "As I have talked to young mothers and mothers with children at home—those with teenagers and young adults especially—they tell me that their most important shift to be at the top of their game, to be the strongest lioness at the gate is the “swing shift.” That’s the afternoon shift. That’s when everyone comes home hungry, tired, needy, and less lovable. It is when you are hungry, tired, needy, and less loveable. It is also the time of day when people are more teachable, when they are most grateful. When we realize and prioritize our time properly, we don’t expect to use all of our strength on the other two shifts so that the afternoon shift can be safeguarded and can be a time of strength and power. We plan for times when the meals are there together, when we can create that home environment and when that family can gather, and you are the strengthening power and force in that family. Remember that influence and power come when we prioritize correctly. If you spend time elsewhere, you don’t have it to give."

I have given great thought to this idea of the "swing shift" and am trying to prioritize my time to be at the top of my game for it.  I think twice before committing myself or my children to extra activities during this time.  With the addition of Ryan to our family, and some small changes to the girls' school schedule this year, I had to make some changes to our routine.  For a couple different reasons, we have greatly simplified our extra curricular schedule this school year.  This may not always be the case, but for now, it meets our needs and everyone is happy.

I pick up the big girls at 2:30 and we get home by 2:40 or so.  They empty their backpacks, putting their lunch on the counter, folders on the table and then hang up jackets and backpacks.  While they work on this, I get a snack out for them and clean out their lunches.  While they eat, I go through their folders, look at their corrected work, read flyers that are sent home and organize their homework into a pile.  We talk about their completed work, I give praise where appropriate and they tell me about what they have learned.  Then I make their list for them.  (We use small whiteboards.) Homework is always first, then reading time, their written piano work, and whatever applicable chores they have (trash, laundry, etc.).  By this time it is 3:00, so they all grab a book and we get in the car again.

By the time we pick up Ryan and get home again, it is about 3:30.  The girls read in the car, so they can check that off their list and then they get going on the rest of their homework.  Ryan grabs a snack and I make a list for him as well.  Usually, homework is simply listed at the top and then I list out whatever chores he is responsible for that day (trash, laundry, tidy room, etc.).  By 4:00, we try to get him going on homework.  I usually go over his agenda with him to see what has been assigned and together we prioritize the order in which assignments will be done and what he needs help with.  For the most part, he works independently, but sometimes needs help staying on task.

I admit that I quite often let Rachel watch a movie or TV show during this afternoon period.  She has been with me or at preschool and had plenty of playtime and my attention.  Sometimes, she'll get going with her own playtime, but it doesn't always work.  If she watches a show quietly, it keeps her from distracting the people doing homework.  The TV is far enough away that in our house, it works.  She is usually tired by this time of day also and needs some down time.

The hard part for me is staying on track with so many people who need help with different things.  Liz works independently for the most part, but I still have to check her assignments and answer questions.  Miriam is learning to work independently, but it is a learning process.  There is also dinner to make, piano lessons to be taught to the big girls, and sometimes laundry needs to be rotated (although I try to get it done early if I can).  I find myself losing patience sometimes as I am pulled in too many directions or if I don't have cooperation from all the involved parties.

When Jim gets home from work, he usually takes over assisting Ryan with any homework he is working on while I finish getting dinner ready.  We pretty much have dinner together every night since we have cut back on extra-curriculars.  I continue to work hard to make this a priority.  Meal planning is essential, but I take comfort in another quote by Sister Beck that we should focus on doing these things with precision and not worry about doing them with perfection.  (Tonight it was Mickey Mouse chicken nuggets, Ore-Ida's french fries, and watermelon.)

I have moved most of my piano lessons to the evening so that Jim is home.  I really just feel a strong need to be available to Ryan and my kids after school.  I have three piano students and just took on one tutoring gig, but this may change too.  It ends up being 2 and a half hours spread throughout the week and none of them are on Monday night.  It is sometimes difficult, but the extra income is helpful too.

After dinner is done, we work on getting it cleaned up, help Ryan finish up homework, and get the girls bathed and showered.  There is usually some down time where the girls can have some computer time or watch a show or play.  This is all in and around any evening things we have going on: mutual, book club, Relief Society, etc.  We get in PJs by 7:00 to help them start winding down.  At 7:40 we read scriptures and pray.  They they brush teeth, go potty and hop in bed.  We read a story and have lights out by 8:00.  Then I get to go in the kitchen and make lunches for the next day.  By about 8:30, I am usually done and can have some down time.

It's hard, and it's not always successful; I get tired by the end of the week.  But for the most part, it works out.  If you made it to the end of this post, then I'm impressed.  This post has mostly been for my own journaling purposes.  Every family has to find their own routine and schedule, but this is what works for us at this point in our lives.  I'm grateful for inspired church leaders and I know that as we follow their counsel our lives are blessed.